Are you a Serpent or a Rat? Take the Quiz of Yig and Find Out.
Are you one with Yig or cowering in the corner when the Earth comes under peril? Take Yig’s Stalwart quiz and see where you stand in the eyes of the All Father Serpent. You better hope you do well, for if you fail badly, you might be eaten.
1. You come across a person that has gotten into a bike accident and has been knocked unconscious.
A) Steal their wallet.
B) Call for help and begin first aid.
C) Become a snake.
D) Steal their bike.
2. You come upon a small pond were an invasive species of crawdad has moved in and is in the process of destroying the natural wildlife.
A) Feed the crawfish crackers and hotdogs.
B) Kill as many as you can as quickly as you can and then eat them.
C) Report it to the park service.
D) Take a few home for pets.
3. Your friend needs to be picked up from the airport.
A) Screw that, you have a life.
B) Show up with some tasty beverages on ice and hit a tavern or a nature spot on the way home.
C) Become a snake.
D) Say you will pick him up, but then accidentally ‘space it.’
4. Through no fault of your own, you find yourself homeless.
A) Move back in with your X.
B) Build a house out of pallet wood or just move out into the wilds.
C) Become a snake, easy to find a place to crash that way.
D) Call everyone you know until someone will let you coach surf.
5. The zombie plague has started. You are about to escape town, when you see two children trapped inside a car surrounded by seven zombies and all you have is a baseball bat.
A) What do they have to do with me?
B) Lure the zombies away and kill them one at a time.
C) Check to see if they eat snakes.
D) Use this distraction to loot a nearby store.
6. Your girlfriend wants you to hold her purse while she tries on a new dress (for people dating men, it is their old hat and they are probably not trying on a dress, but you never know.)
A) Toss it on the bench, because that check-out girl is hot and you need to get her number.
B) Try to disguise the purse by covering it with your weapons or hat.
C) Become a snake and crawl inside.
D) Agree, but only so you can search it for money.
7. Your friend has fallen on hard times and needs a place to crash.
A) Don’t return his calls and if he comes by pretend you’re not home.
B) Grab a twelver and invite a few people over for a welcome to your sofa party.
C) Tell him he can only stay if he can become a snake.
D) Paying half of your rent and utilities sounds fair.
8. Your best friend’s significant other had been drinking and starts to hit on you.
A) Bang them in the back seat of your ride.
B) Make sure they get a safe ride home.
C) Become a snake and hide.
D) Take them for a long drive so they can talk smack on your friend for a few hours and then bang them anyway.
9. You are out camping, you haven’t collected much wood yet, and a storm is coming in.
A) Bang someone in the back seat of your ride.
B) Make a fire, start collecting wood, and get a tarp up.
C) Become a snake.
D) Make sure everyone else in the camp does answer B.
10. You are on a long road trip when the car breaks down in the middle of a lonely stretch of desert.
A) Blame your friend and complain as loudly as possible.
B) If the car can’t be fixed, gather water and offer to hike back to the nearest town.
C) Become a snake, there should be a few desert rats you can eat.
D) Sit in the car and wait for someone to help you.
Bonus Question: You see Jack Primus surrounded by six sickle wielding Glooms.
A) Help the Glooms kill that pompous prick.
B) Grab a weapon and attack their backs.
C) Become a snake
D) Run away as quickly as possible.
For each question answered A give yourself 10 rat points. For each question answered D give yourself 5 Rat points.
For each B give yourself 10 Yig points, and for each C give yourself a bonus 1 Yig point for just thinking about snakes.
If you have both Yig points and Rat points they cancel each other out. So for instance if you had 80 Yig points but 20 Rat points you would have a Yig score of 60. A person with 70 Rats points and 30 Yig points would have a Rat score of 40.
Rat Point Scale
1-10 – You are Mr./Ms. Anywhere the wind blows…yawn.
11-20 – You aren’t even a good villain.
21-30 – Embrace the dark side.
31-40 – The homeless and small children run from you.
41-50 – Babies cry at the sight of you.
51-60 – Evil organizations are trying to enlist you.
61-70 – You are wondering if you should put the title Overlord before your name.
71-80 – Anti-social personality disorder, why do they call it a disorder, everything’s working to plan.
81-90 – You’ll return Satan’s call when you get around to it.
91-100 – Cthulhu has just made you the general of his land troops.
Yig Point Scale
1-10 – Oh boy…
11-20 – Someone needs to step up.
21-30 – Go collect some firewood.
31-40 – Okay, I’ll let you water my plants when I go aboard.
41-50 – You make a good babysitter.
51-60 – You want to go camping this weekend.
61-70 – We need to kill some crawdads.
71-80 – We need to kill some Migo.
81-90 – Yig has an assignment for you.
91-100 – Hey Jack, I didn’t see you standing there.