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Giants Claim Minority Status as Pants Impaired

Collapsing Shack Arizona:


There was a great step forward for Giants today when they declared themselves the Pants Impaired Minority. Giants Against Stereotyping or G.A.S. has been advocating for the rights of giants since Zeus cast them from Olympus. Their spokesman, Mike, was quoted saying, “You don’t know how much of a pain it is to have to order special pants! We certainly deserve a tax break for the hardship, the extra cost, and the annoying references to basketball.”


Angry Giant

Angry Giant with pants that are way too small

This move is sweeping in after congress recently rejected the group’s, Plane Seat Impaired Minority status and shot down their claim for being Doorway Disabled. Mike went on to say, “These damn hobbit designers want to carve the world in their image no matter who they hurt along the way. I alone bumped my head ten times last week.”


Giant that needs better pants

Giant that needs better pants

When it was pointed out that chicks dig tall guys, he only said, “Well yeah, you know that.”


No pants fit me!

No pants fit me!

Later when  he was asked if he thought this most recent claim would have more luck than the proceeding ones, Mike answered, “I think this is a claim we can measure in facts. For instance, I wear pants so I can tell they are real and not some mystic illusion sent to us by that crone Hecate and I have credit card receipts to prove it. The bottom line is, we are sick of being called monsters, Yeti, Sasquatch or any other derogatory name you damn puny midget dwarf, Halfling sons o bitches wants to call us. I’m a Giant and I’m proud if it. So little congress, it this one doesn’t pass, I will grind you bones into powder and use it to bake my bread.”


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