Top Ten Reasons Undead support the Republicans in the Mid-Term Election

By October 2018, Trump’s uncouth behavior and Kavanaugh’s boorish entitlement have either caused the citizens of the United States to want to hang their heads in shame or shout, ‘give us more, we can’t get enough of this politics gone wild.’ But instead of focusing on the naysayers and people how follow logic or possess common sense, let’s focus on some of the creatures who support the Republicans this mid-term election, such as the Undead. After several nights of sleepless exploration and losing three pints of blood, I’ve finally able to bring you the…

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Top Ten Reasons Undead support the Republicans in the Mid-Term Election

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1. Because Orcus asked them to.
2. Parasites who feed off the working class have to stick together.
3. Both need functioning brains.
4. Vampires respect any being who uses his charm to induce humans to act against their own self-interest.
5. Both fail to give up even though their time has passed.
6. Why wouldn’t the undead favor things with a cold heart?
7. Many Republicans are undead.
8. Like ghosts, they are things which should have long since passed, but refuse to quit haunting the present.
9. Mummies love climate change.
10. Something about Trump’s base reminds them of zombies but they can’t quite put their rotting finger on it.

 

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