SJ and the SHovel Part IV

MDG   Oh Man What a rough night. It is hard to sleep with a solid fin of hair jutting out from the top of your head. Then…I’m not sure if was CW’s cat or what, but we were woken up early by the sounds of Jack cursing. As soon as I crawled out of the […]

Fantasy Characters Living Through Real Apocalypses Protest Fake End of Days

Collapsing Shack Arizona: The Fantasy Adventuring Characters Team Symposium  or F.A.C.T.S. has lodged a formal complaint against, “All nay sayers-Doom mongers, Rapture renegers and End of Dayers.” They feel that they are hard pressed enough fighting for their lives against an unstoppable foe, and they’d rather not hear a bunch of imaginary speculation about how […]

Serpent Eating a Rat

Snakes and rats are two animals that are often not considered have stellar reputations. Snakes are conceptualized as evil from genesis to Robert E Howard’s Conan novels. Even with current modes of media, snakes are more likely to be viewed as an evil menace than a benevolent friend or ally. Some stats even place snakes […]

National Safety Council to discontinue CPR claiming it is too gross.

Behind the Dumpster, Washington DC: The National Safety Council has announced its intension to officially discontinue CPR as a life saving technique. William Lynn, a spokesperson for the council states, “I used to be an EMT and I can tell you putting my lips over some fat dying slob is disgusting. And the damn thing […]

That Sure Went Down The Twitter

In these hard economic times, there is little I won’t do to try to make a few free beers. I’m still pretty new here at the Discord, but despite their bulging pockets full of dough, they have yet to sent me a single royalty check. I heard Zano is taking his family to Costa Rica […]

Giants Claim Minority Status as Pants Impaired

Collapsing Shack Arizona:   There was a great step forward for Giants today when they declared themselves the Pants Impaired Minority. Giants Against Stereotyping or G.A.S. has been advocating for the rights of giants since Zeus cast them from Olympus. Their spokesman, Mike, was quoted saying, “You don’t know how much of a pain it […]

Interview by a Vampire

Arkham MA: Good evening, gentle readers. My name is Baron Von Hallens, and let me warn you, if I hear one more thing about some man named David Lee Roth, I will kill the entire state of Massachusetts, except Romney, who I feel a strange kindred to, but I digress. I have been an immortal […]

Romney Pledges to Increase Taxes for Nation’s Homeless By Alex Bone

Washington, DC—In an unexpected move, the Romney campaign announced its intension to be the first administration ever to levy a tax on our nation’s homeless. Romney claims to have a five point plan to save America, or at least the nicer, Mormon friendly parts (MFP). Mitt Romney said, “For too long the domicile-impaired have lived […]

Life Impaired Parade Ends In Violence

Collapsing Shack Arizona: In a bid for unliving with the freedom to avoid persecutions, prejudice, and violence, the undead rallied in front of the White House this July 4th. Most of the walking dead were unable to comment, but I do have a statement from former President Gerald Ford. When asked if he thought the […]

Romney Campaign Targets Undead Vote

Washington DC: Despite every effort to displace the incumbent, Romney’s political advisers were not favoring his chances to win the election as it currently sits. That was, until they discovered an overlooked voting population, the Undead, and in this case that term is not referring to Mormons. When asked to elaborate on this new strategy, […]