Top Ten Reasons Vikings Won’t Vote for Trump

By September 2018 Trump’s behavior had upset most of the rational and intelligent people with a strong enough stomach to listen to his verbal litter, but what about the Vikings? Where do they weigh in on the matter? Some thought they might have favored Trump due to his might makes right modality. Others believe his lying, bitchy, and cowardly behavior would have them chewing on the edges of their battle axes. After an in-depth journey into legends, myths, and more than a few mead halls, I, Alex Bone, can finally bring you the real story.

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Top Ten Reasons Vikings Won’t Vote for Trump

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1. Because he asked them to.

 

2. He never uses an axe.

 

3. Only a fool wears his tie so long, for it is far easier for an enemy to strangle you with it.

 

4. Vikings never have a pay a woman for sex.

 

5. Only girly men get bone spurs.

 

6. Build big wall on river. Very stupid. Sad.

 

7. Never trust an old man without a beard.

 

8. Even Loki never lied so much.

 

9. Someone with a body like his doesn’t deserve to be a narcissist.

 

10. Viking don’t want to sleep with their own daughter when there are so many other people’s daughters to choose from.

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