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What If: Woman were Stronger than Men?

Four Enclosed Walls Arizona: This is the first in a series of 800 What If articles that I intend to have finished before the end of the summer. So what if women were on the average twice as strong as men? First off, perhaps I should point out why woman are not twice as strong as men. You might think it is so men will be attracted to them, but you would be wrong. It is because if they were stronger than us they would have killed off all the men and the species would have gone extinct a long time ago.


I think having an incredibly strong woman around might make some things happen more quickly. “I’m going to make a garden, damn it!” would suddenly involve a woman tearing out whole trees and tossing them over a wall. “Get me some seeds right now!”

“Okay, yes dear.”


Whether they are stronger or not, woman and men look at the beginning of relationships differently. I think woman really believe there is a perfect man out there who will be her knight and they will really be able to live happily ever after as long as she can find the right one.

Me on the other hand will be more like, wow this woman is great, we really seem to be clicking, it might a full year before she is texting all my friends and telling them what an asshole I am.


Besides this normal friction things seem to be getting harder for both men and women to get together these days. A young college student just had attempted rape charges pressed against him for trying to kiss a girl. Going to be damn hard for the sexes to get together if we aren’t even allowed to try. Woman tend to like romance, but frankly I can’t think of anything that would kill the moment more than brining out a pre-kiss consent form. Hell women were pissed when pre-nups began to be used. Soon we’ll have to walk over to women without opening our mouths and just have a big form staying am I allowed to bother you, check yes or no and if we men don’t even have a chance to open with a joke or a complement you know what box is going to be checked. Or perhaps we’ll just be sliding our credit report over to them and waiting for the nod.

If women were stronger than men would they rape us? No I do not think they would, but they sure as hell would make us sit and listen to why they are mad at us.

“I really need to go.”

“Sit down!”

“But I meant I really need to go to the bathroom, I’ve been listening to you for five hours.”

Strong girl

Strict and beautiful business woman with pointer stick.

What else would happen if woman were stronger than men? Well for one thing they would make suitcases bigger. Could you imagine how much the average woman would pack for a trip if she could lift a two hundred pound suitcase on her own? But you know they would still ask men to carry everything.

We’d probably have a lot of well-behaved kids too, because mom wouldn’t use a spoon on your ass if you were bad she’d be whacking you with a stop sign.


Lastly, if women were wicked pissa strong men would have to be careful not to come to quickly or well… snip.

Punk Hiar

You can get more laughs here

 Punk Chick


And you can grab more of my comedy fiction here


Fighting the Battle


One Response to “What If: Woman were Stronger than Men?”

  1. Pretty funny post! I can tell you as a female, I really respect both men and women, whether they are stronger or weaker than me. I only have a problem with men and women that say that ALL men/women are stronger or men and women that abuse their power, which is happening in several ways (referring to your jokes about harrassment and I can assure you, there are also women raping men, but the male victims are not always taken seriously,which I find truly terrible).

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